Approval addiction is very real and it is something that can turn your life up side down and leave you incapable of happiness. This addiction to pleasing others and putting people before your self and what is right for you- is widespread throughout the world.

We find this in countries where people become so brained washed that they believe they should die because their leaders said so. They see themselves as replaceable and their lives are extensions of someone else’s views.

They see a fulfilling life as dying for the cause. Not even evaluating if that cause is right or wrong- good or bad. Ask any of them if they fight for their own belief and they would probably say this is the belief of their forefathers and leaders. But does that make it right?

In lesser extremist countries people struggle in everyday life - trying to fulfill the need to be respected and loved so they spend majority of their time seeking the approval of others by conditioning themselves to be pushed around and walked all over by everyone in the name of love.

How Does Someone Develop An Approval Addiction

Misplaced emotions, low self esteem, a flawed self image and an addictive personality can spark an approval addiction.

You may not realize it but you may- in one way or another- mentally hand over your rights to happiness through developing insecurities about yourself. You then leave it to others to give you that feeling of joy.

You no longer feel capable or even find it practical to love yourself because you think the only way you can feel love is by the outside world showing it to you. You get addicted to performing any action necessary to get this feeling from people.

Your concept of love becomes equivalent to what you can do to receive love from others and this leads to self destruction. You do whatever it takes, forgetting all morals and standards because you want to be on the good side or part of the in crowd.

Yes, lots of people who do lots of crazy stuff usually do it to prove themselves to their peers. This addiction is so harmful that it can literally turn lives inside out. The reach of this addiction stretches as far as gang wars and suicides

Tell Tale Signs That You Have An Approval Addiction

Let’s look at the typical signs that should sound the alarm if you suffer from this dreaded condition to seek approval from others. If any of these things seem familiar to you or is going on in your life right now - then you are an approval junkie.

Read each line and judging by your emotional or mental reaction it will tell you if you are a people pleaser.

• I am only happy when I feel love from someone close to me.

• I become so much happier when people approve of me and give me complements.

• I feel so hurt when I get rejected by others. I just don’t handle rejection well at all.

• It’s not possible to make myself happy. Other people make me happy.

• He/she makes me so happy- I can never feel this way without him/her.

• He/she loves me, so he or she will never do anything to hurt me.

• I hate the feeling of being alone.

• It is because of other people that I feel unhappy. It’s their fault.

• I have self control it because of (he/she/it/them) that I loose it and get angry.

• I’m acting selfish if I pursue what I want instead of fulfilling what other people want of me.

• I need to be in a relationship or else I’m not happy.

• I must simply be the best at everything and I make damn sure that everyone knows it.

• He/she can’t possibly take care of their responsibilities so I must take some of that responsibility from them.

• My self worth is what others tell me.

• I can’t say “no” because they wont like it so I must say yes although I don’t want to.

• Everyone said that I’m not capable of doing this task so it must be true.

• I tried hard but maybe I could’ve tried a little bit harder.

These are some of the feelings that you battle with when you have an approval addiction and feel the need to please others in order to feel good about yourself. But you can change this.

How To Get Over Your Approval Addiction

• Self Awareness: - Raising your self awareness and knowing where you stand in this world will take you far. You will become more aware of yourself and your surroundings. Everything in life will begin to make sense. The battle between your desire for love and your mental belief that you’re worth nothing all end when you become self aware.

• Self Esteem: - Low self esteem is one of the most widespread problems facing millions of people today. It holds you back drastically at succeeding with anything in life and it can be the #1 source of your approval addiction. Learning to develop self esteem will minimize the need to be approved by others to feel good about your self.

• Self Control: - It is hard to control yourself when you have an emotional problem but it is absolutely necessary. Without it you will always slip back into the old habits. Self control prevents this and learning it will require you to change from the inside out.

• Motivation: - You need that desire to change – without it you will get nowhere fast. Look around you! Do you think that by doing all that you can for other people just to see them smile at you is worth it?

  They’re secretly laughing at you so let that thought be your motivation to stop this disastrous habit.

• Self Image: - How do you see yourself? Are you magnificent or are you a tumble weed blowing cross a lonely desert? How you see yourself is important because that is exactly how others will see you as well.

• Self Direction: - Knowing where you’re headed in this world will give you points when getting over the need to please. If you have your own direction then what you do and how you feel about it will matter a lot more than the opinion of others.

Final Words

You don’t need anyone to tell you what to do or where to turn just to feel good about yourself. You don’t need to be everything for everyone either.

Start loving yourself more and appreciate your uniqueness. When you finally develop that self love that you truly deserve then what others think will no longer matter.

For those of you who may have kids and you’re reading this article I would like you to take a minute and reflect on your childhood years and see how this need to be part of the in crowd has affected you.

Maybe you’ve done some things you’re not proud of and this is why you should talk to your kids about it.